I Always Protect, I Always Trust, I Always Hope, I Always Persevere

We are looking for our deep longings to be fulfilled by love. We are looking to romance, to pursuits, and to careers for the deep longing to be filled, to be recognized and acknowledged. We want to be loved unconditionally, completely, and whole. And when we perceive that we do not possess this fulfillment, we become restless, anxious, fear-filled sometimes. We thrash about hurting ourselves and sometimes others. 

I am always amazed at how Atheists can say there is no God-force, no reason behind how and why we were created, and yet, these same people look for love and connection as much as the rest of us. Love did not come from particles blasted out from space or from the primordial soup of our beginnings. Love is what holds it all together. Love is God. God is Love.  Love has a beginning, and it came from a source as amazing as this universe and all the other universes beyond our sights and reach.

So from this premise, I read the most famous chapter in the Bible about Love. It is the chapter read and printed for all to hear and read at American weddings -1st Corinthians 13. It is the code of love. It is the perfection we all seek in ourselves and others. We hold examples of this code in the Ghandi’s and the Mother Teresa’s, who with their human experience seemed to fulfill it beyond the ordinary person like you and I. 

This chapter is about our longing to feel and be love. But being connected to the Source is crucial to fulfilling it. Our human experience leaves us with big gaps and the only way we can feel it is with love. But what kind of love? What does this look like?

I won’t go into all the kinds of love in this space of time. I just know as I am seeking a long-lasting partnership with a man where I can practice loving and being loved; it is a difficult journey. When you are seeking this sort of love, it is a pinnacle of our expression of being joined and being one with another. This sort of love is the closest thing to our desire to be joined to God’s love, to merge with another and yet, be our true individual and authentic selves in the union.  

In this journey, all of the fears and gaps of my own self-love reveal themselves. They want to taunt and tease me down the path of fear and rejection and hopelessness. But, I refuse to follow. I am taking the high road. I am going to the source and finding my own fulfilling love. I want to be as full of my own love so that my journey is full and blissful regardless of who is or is not in my life. 

The Athiests have it right in believing they are alone. As a human being, we are ultimately alone as individuals in context of each other. We carry our history, our beliefs, and our perceptions as individual as the DNA strands that create our physical bodies. But we are not alone! God -Love is there in huge amounts and constant and never lacking to fill us and empower us. 

I read 1 Corinthians 13 today as I have many times in my life. But on this day there is a particular verse that shouts out at me (verse 7), that says, “Here! this is for your heart that feels rejection and wounded.” My heart wants to naturally go the the tender areas of past wounds and recreate it, nursing it and blaming myself. This verse speaks to me of a promise, a choice I have. To have faith in love, in God, in what holds created amazing me. 

1 Corinthians 13:7: It [Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

I believe that I am responsible to be the love in my own life that protects (my own well-being in a healthy way), always trusts (that the best will work out for me), always hopes (is not discouraged by attempts of meeting new men), and always perseveres (in believing that I am lovable, and I deserve an amazing relationship with an amazing man).

I feel wounded when my expectations in meeting a man is that we will begin the journey of intimate relationship and he is not available or ready, In my desire to express my inner world to another and have full recipocation from that person, it hurts to not have the freedom to be that and experience it with a man. It is my full surrender to God and  to trust what is beyond that moment and what I perceive in the moment. Full recognition of where the other person is in their own journey, even if I desire and wish they were taking the same path with me. I want to persuade them to go there with me, but they aren’t ready. So for now, I have to go alone, but with the mantra running through my head, ” Love always protects, always trusts. always hopes, and always perseveres.” 


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