Interlude: noun, 1. an intervening time, period, or stage 2. a short performance between acts.
Today’s missive will be on interlude- a short performance between acts, an intervening time. Interludes are pauses and space to collect my thoughts, to breathe, to reassess and recalibrate.
When a relationship ends, it does not feel like an interlude or a short performance between acts. It feels many times like the final curtain closing on romance and love. It feels like the the final act.The possibility of another scene in the near future seems impossible.
Some of us draw the curtain on dating and finding love and decide it is the final act. We either rant and rave or go into a protective shell swearing off men or women forever. This is an interlude of sorts.
The danger in interludes is that instead of going on to the next act, the next performance of your life, you stay stuck. I have met many people who have stopped pursuing the next stage of dating and finding the person who may be waiting around the corner.
Interludes are meant for us to heal, reflect on the lessons learned, and recalibrate to the feelings and state of being single. This is a difficult period and lasts for varying periods of time for each of us. It may last briefly with the acknowledgement that it really was for the best. Or it may be a time where wrestling with the facts and feelings is gut wrenching.
But the interlude is a place between acts-the acts of our lives. Interlude can be a time of sacredness. Honoring our life with this space is important. It may create a space for something new in your life. I sign up for a Barre class to work on sculpting my body in a graceful way- at the ballet bar. I buy books I have been wanting to read (okay there is one on finding your true love). I make a special trip to the art museum to soak up the rich experience of becoming visually intertwined with the creative talent of great artists. This is the time to take the list of places you have wanted to go, projects you have wanted to start, and passions you want to engage in and go down the list.
Taking your mind off of the last act (It was a tragic act where the character dies and you are left as the heroine, right?) and onto you is more important than jumping to the next relationship. In taking your interlude, you make your world about something besides the relationship. You make it about you!
And you can also make it about other people-volunteering at the animal shelter, cooking a great meal for your friends, joining a new book club or meet-up group can all be ways to get out of yourself and put your attention on something besides your healing heart.
My own interlude has been writing about the acts I have been involved in and those that are coming. The whole point of a performance is that I enjoy each scene, each character, and anticipate hopefully the happy ending. But the interlude is a time to stretch the legs, have an adult beverage and talk among each other.
Enjoy your interlude even if you wanted the first act to go on and on. Remember, there is more and better things coming!