I have two craft beer cans in my wine cooler. They are from two ex-boyfriends. I like wine. I am not a beer person though I came to appreciate the beer they brought over. One was a Birmingham Brit who declared over and over that Americans don’t craft real beer, but this canned version out of Chico, California is the nearest facsimile of his dear old beer-tapping days in the pubs of England. I think he should just go back to England and drink himself silly.
The other is a long, tall can of a name I cannot pronounce. This boyfriend was kinder, sweeter, and not arrogant like the Brit. He would always bring small gifts of food and wine (and beer) for us to partake in. The problem is his beer has spent more time with me than he was willing to spend with me. He was an 18 % boyfriend.
I can’t seem to rid myself of these strangers in my wine cooler.
I never imagine either man will come calling for me to rip the ring and pour him a tall glass. Actually, I am not sure I would ever want them to come calling.
A beer, from what I understand has many qualities and characteristics that make it a good beer.
Temperature, Appearance, Aroma, Taste, And Texture.
And I am beginning to see a similarity between a good beer and a good boyfriend!
Appearance: First one? Flashy, cheesy, and over-the-top wanting to be noticed in clothes that were last decade’s fashion. Second one? Outdoorsy, fresh, and casual.
Aroma: I would say this is the attitude and flavor of personality they bring into the room. And according to the Barcats (out of Britain no less), this is 80% of the flavor and taste, so just sayin’.
First one? Brash, arrogant, and definitely horny! Second one? Playful, unplanned, so chill, I had to get a sweater.
Taste- !.) Opinionated, heavy, and brackish when I said the ‘wrong’ thing! 2.) Quiet, keep it under wraps, and ambiguous, he would rush from the room if barely poked with a personal question.
Texture: First? Prickly! Would stare at you as you finally told him your feelings, and then not respond. So creepy and definitely not interested in your best.
Second? Beyond sensitive. Felt trapped and became an escape artist that flees at the first hint of a real adult conversation about feelings.
Perhaps I should start rating my encounters with potential romantic partners as a beer is rated. I think I might have better luck with the beer! I may just drink those beers after all. Cheers!